The Patriots, dressed in their American flags of red, white, and blue, stared down the field at their opponents the Giants, who were very tall, as their namesake would indicate. The referee blew his whistle and beloved Roald Dahl character the Big Friendly Giant, who was the Giants’ quarterback, punted the pigskin across the field but it was intercepted by Uncle Sam, who then passed it to a helmeted bald eagle nearby. Hagrid suddenly flew in on his motorcycle though, strangling said bald eagle with his meaty giant hands, and the eagle shed a single tear for America before dropping the ball. André the Giant picked it up and was about to make a totally rad touchdown but then he stopped.

“Wait, my friends,” said the very tall football player. “Why are we fighting at all? Can’t we both just play football for the sport of it?”

George Washington and the giant megalodon shark flopping idly on the field across from him both nodded in agreement, and the bald eagle started to cry even more red white and blue tears.

Even the crowd was moved by his words, and fans tossed their giant foam fingers to the side to embrace eachother, their painted faces streaked with tears. Both teams threw their helmets to the ground and walked hand in hand off into the sunset.